I've been trying so hard to figure out how this year is going to go down. It's not really settling into any particular pattern and I can't help but to wonder what it is going to make this year.

I stopped missing you. Which is weird. I thought things would be different with us, different then every other time. But they aren't. I'm not happy about it, but I'm getting more used to the idea that things aren't going to go back to the way they were. I missed you for weeks, but I'm through with it. That ship has sailed. I wish we'd done things differently, but we didn't and I guess I'm alright with it? It's not as if I have any other choice?

I'm so overwhelmed with the paper. Things just keep getting backed up and pushed around. I'm evidently really bad with sponaneity?

I'm not having a very good time with this whole church thing? It's been so dramatic and everchanging. As much as teens say they want change and fun stuff, we need somewhere with normalacy. I need that normalacy that youth used to give. I hope things start to chill out?

I've had Imogen Heap and Regina Spektor stuck in my head simultaneously for the last week or so. It's getting a little bothersome. Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs. Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you. You don't care a bit. It's a pain when things just swirl around my brain. Sometimes I'd prefer not to think, so I wouldn't, well, think? I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground. And by protecting my heart truly I got lost in the sounds.

Hoemcoming is coming up. I have two dresses.

I wish I could make up my mind for once.

shake it up?