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Sunday, April 15, 2007
Directions

I've been in a moody sort of mood lately

 

 

I can't pick or choose how I feel. I wake up one way, and if I don't like it, well the too damn bad because no matter how hard I try to change it, I can't.

 

I'm sort of adrift right now. I've been musing over what it is I'm going to do with my life and my time.

I haven't found an answer yet. 

I feel like I'm going a million directions and once, and at the same time, not going anywhere.

It's not a feeling I'm used to.

This lack of a plan is getting to me.


Posted at 04:46 pm by moroccodreams

LesterBangs
April 16, 2007   09:24 AM PDT
 
Another thing...

JW and I have talked about the morning phenomenon. When you wake up the morning, you can actually be feeling pretty good until all this crap starts to download into your head about your problems from the day before - even before you get out of bed. And then it just kind of stays there and bounces around and talks to you all day.

Did I just compare you to the two of us?? Do I need to apologize???

As I have said, the two things that have helped me separate myself from my angst have been writing and Moments of Grace.
LesterBangs
April 16, 2007   09:11 AM PDT
 
Living without clear direction seems to be part of the zeitgeist right now.

My 25 year old daughter has ruled out a number of things but still can't decide what she wants to do. She does keep narrowing down the possibilities.

She attended a "Life After Fulbright" seminar in Berlin. The theme was "if you are here, you probably still don't know what to do with your life".

The advice was: don't worry about figuring your whole life out right now. Look for something you enjoy, something that energizes you, something that you are passionate about - and just go do that. It will either lead you to something else or you will spend the rest of your life doing it.

The problem is: that's not what the extended family is really looking to hear when you go home at Christmas. They want to hear "I'm going to law school" or "I'm going to be President one day" or something grand and glorious like that.

Most of the extended family grew up in a time when you were expected to pick a career and just tough it out even if you didn't like it. Many of them had to work to keep from starving and being homeless.

I should give you a copy of "Passages" by Gail Sheehy. It's an older book but one that changed my life. It's a research-based book on the passages of life. Many start on a career trajectory in early 20s only to become disenchanted and comepletely change at the end of the 20s/early 30s. If you get married in your early 20s and both of you change in different directions, guess what happens??

I think you would enjoy it.
 

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